- Upgrade to a newer computer
"Upgrading a computer system means purchasing a new computer system from the same vendor for the reason of Operating System incompatibility or slow operation due to bloated nature of the newer Operating Systems. It can also be due to forced lockouts of old software from accessing the servers through Javascript or other means such as using a newer SDK."
- Software Innovation & Features
"Pretending to create a solution to a problem, because a problem does not exist, instead it usually means finding new ways of screwing over the consumer in the background because the computers are powerful enough for users to not notice the background screwery scripting."
- Automatic Software Updates
"The manufacturer of the computer reminds the users that they do not own the computer system by remotely pissing on their programs and using grafitty without user consent, because automatic updates are enabled by default."
- Purchase a digital item
"Usually means renting a temporary license that will be revoked with the content deleted or otherwise made unavailable or corrupted."
- The cloud
"A remote server or data center in a physical location which is owned by a company that has full access to everything stored or used on the server, it provides convenience but destroys everything else."
- Cloud Computing
"A remote server or a powerful computer with remote Application software or a full fledged Operating System set up which can be rented for a monthly cost from a private company, typically the software is so bloated that in order to not crash it has to run on immencely powerful enterprise-grade server hardware because there is so much useless code piling up over the years. Companies love migrating to this as it further destroys ownership while being universally accepted as "Modern" and "current" due to generational brainwashing."
- Obsolete / Outdated
"Any computer system software or hardware that is past a certain age threshold is labeled as such, however this label is silly because by definition I am obsolete and the users (My family, friends, colleagues, etc.) should upgrade to using a newborn baby instead of me."
- Subscription Services
"A free money glitch that 100% of 'Modern' anything exploits, your money becomes their money every month with one time consent, some even make it hard to cancel the subscription as an extra spit in the face by requiring certified mail or long telephone marketing calls. Software subscriptions should be illegal. Renting a program which does not even require to connect to the internet and could have been made offline is absolutely diabolical."
- User Experience (UX)
"The illusion of improvement, often used as a smokescreen to justify hiding functions, removing features, and replacing visible buttons with mystery meat glyphs while praising the 'simplicity' of everything being harder to find. Now, it is X (No I don't mean the Twitter rebrand), but X as in Experience, not for the user but for the Shareholders and other greedy individuals to extract time and money from Humans."
- Online User Account
"A required identity leash that binds a human being to a corporation's server-side control system in order to use basic local functions that should have worked without identification in the first place. Typically used for marketing and advertising, as well as unsolicited data harvesting."
- IOT Smart Device
"While IOT Devices that operate with manual configuration with a WhiteList of IP Addresses and no access to the internet beyond LAN or a specific Proxy Server for remote access are totally valid. "Cloud" server connected IOT appliances are permanently online surveillance objects with reduced functionality that was previously possible offline, now only operable if the manufacturer allows it through their proprietery software, typically an Application for a mobile telephone which includes several layers of Spyware and Data Collection without explicit consent or transparency."
- Security Update
"A patch which may or may not fix an actual security vulnerability, but will certainly install more telemetry, change UI elements to match current shitty branding, and gradually remove any remnants of local control or possibilities of offline use."
- Machine Learning/Ai Integration
"Adding unnecessary machine-guessing features to applications that used to obey commands immediately, in order to justify software bloat and new monetization points. Can also be used for new and creative ways to collect new personal information and spam users with annoying advertisments or otherwise sell that information to data brokers."
- EULA (End User License Agreement)
"A legal document nobody reads which removes any remaining illusion that you own or control the software you installed, while protecting the company from any responsibility, often used to fuck over the consumer."
- Feature Deprecation
"Intentional removal of useful options so the software can be falsely streamlined and so that older workflows stop functioning, encouraging users to upgrade hardware and retrain themselves endlessly to simply maintain the identical functionality they once had."
- Compatibility
"A label granted by the vendor that means the software will run if and only if you're using the latest machine they are trying to sell, otherwise it will crash on purpose or refuse to start."
- Telemetry
"Silent background surveillance under the guise of 'performance data collection', which functions without permission and cannot be turned off by normal users."
- App Store
"A controlled distribution prison where only vendor-approved software is allowed, often in sandboxed form, with 30% of all money siphoned by the host platform for the privilege of obeying their rules."
- Cloud Sync
"A mechanism for silently copying all your personal files to a company-controlled server so they can later be deleted, corrupted, even looked through for targeted ads or even accessed by idiot employees out of curiosity, while being advertised as backup."
- Trusted Platform Module (TPM)
"A hardware-level gatekeeping chip that disables computing functions unless the system is running a vendor-approved operating system, it is accompanied by a software level "secure boot" function which does the same thing but without a physical chipset."
- Legacy Support
"Temporary tolerance of older software or hardware features until the next update, at which point they are deleted and labeled as dangerous, unsupported, or unstable regardless of performance."